Mulhalland Drive


A Love Story in the City of Dreams

Jurassic Mark

SCORE:  Not Ratable

Mulhalland Drive has to be the best bad movie of all time.  It is long, slow and immensely watchable.  I hated this movie like Joan Crawford hated wire hangers.  But, I think I could watch it tomorrow night.  Why?  Because now I know how the deer feels before those "strange" lights turn into squealing breaks and  I experience brief sharp pain as everything goes black.  Perhaps in a previous life, director David Lynch lived as just such a deer and the images that loosely construct our movie came to him in the split second before he became venison.  I'm not trying to be funny.  Something is definitely wrong with Lynch.
Mulhalland drive provides us with an erotic lesbian scene.  I suppose it's possible one could film an unerotic lesbian sex scene, but I'll give Lynch credit for filming a good one.  Also, our heroine masturbates.  That was kind of fun, but, just as you would imagine, less satisfying than the previously mentioned scene.  The two female leads are, in one case, perky, blond and, how shall I say, sexy in the opposite way than the second voluptuous brunet.  We get to see both of them, at various times,  naked and heaving and pouting and all that good stuff.  These are the only reasons this movie has ever been seen outside the studio in which it was shot.  If you disagree, turn in your critic's cap, because you are the poster boy/girl for P.T. Barnum's sucker. 
I cannot believe the accolades handed to this film.  The problem with Mulhalland Drive is that there are over 140 minutes of non-lesbian activity in the picture.  But, I was the sucker born in January of 1968.  Here I am, turning in my critics cap.  Mulhalland Drive is a success. 
I'll say one other nice thing about David Lynch's picture.  Just as one can remember the details of a powerful dream, but never recount the emotion behind the dream, so goes Mulhalland Drive.  The movie can grab you,  but describing it is like pedaling franticly away on a bicycle with no chain.