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  • Gentlemen,

    I am deeply concerned to see that Drunken Master now has his own column. Whereas in the past Mr. Master tended to go off the handle on a number of occasions with his movie reviews, there was at least some relevance to film review within (however difficult it was to discern). This new Corporate forum of his is however quite a different beast. I fail to see what his utter lack of compassion at work has to do with film reviews. I find his personal views tasteless and offensive. I do not care how his day at work went or how he feels about overweight individuals. I only come to your site to see movie reviews. Please, I urge you to rethink giving Mr. Master his own forum. It can only serve in bringing down the overall quality of Movie Pit. Now, let’s spend more time reviewing film and less time ranting about one’s sorry lot in life.

    I would offer Mr. Master a word of helpful advice. No one is making you work with these “village idiots” as you call them. If you feel your vast resources of computer expertise are being wasted at your current position, then move on, you sorry ass son of a bitch.


    Clark Foreman

When was the last time you got laid? I don't mean fucked your wife in the standard male dominance position...I mean really fucked something hard, good, thorough? I have my doubts buddy, that you ever had. You sound like one of these ass fucking pedophiles that are penetrating at an alarming rate of young males in the priesthood. So Whassup, you fucked any good ass lately? I'm thinking some eleven year old Baptists are in your future.....possibly some ten year old Lutheran ass. Ever watched young boys play soccer, the sweat glistening off their young nubile bodies as they sprint downfield through the summer breeze. Their tight chests intaking and exhaling short explosive breaths of air.......So in retrospect Mr. Pope wannabe, Mr. Asspipe shaft giver.........You wanna talk about one's sorry lot in life. Well pull your sorry lot out of whomever your piping, and take a good look hard look in the mirror. No....Don't do that, continue your assfucking ways, so that I will always have someone to trash in moments like this. ASS FUCK, my loser respondee, ass fuck......No one is making me work with these "Village Idiots"....WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON....I Don't hire this ass wipe rejects....I get PAID, these fucks are temps....tissue paper, the ass wads I wipe my ass with on any given moment. I have more of an intelligent thought in utter drunkenness than these wads have in their entire existence....I AM A GOD!!!!!

--Drunken Master

  • To whom it may concern,

    My husband and I have a curious 6 year old boy. While checking your fine site "Movie Pit" for the latest professional reviews of the current releases, we left the room for a moment only to return finding little Daniel reading your new Mail Forum section. Imagine my husband's surprise when Daniel asked him what a "sorry ass limp dick ankle grabbing" person was?  You should all be ashamed of yourselves, especially you Drunken Master. Didn't your parents teach you any manners? I'll have you know you have just lost yourselves one family's patronage.

    Good riddance.

    Name withheld, blah, blah, blah.

Dearest Limp Dick Grabber,
Your son is simply as interested in this as you seem to be. I can honestly say that I didn't know what one of these types of people were until college. Therefore you as a parent must SUCK because you're child is learning from a website instead from the proper learning channels such as yourself......If you can't raise it yourself, sell it on the black market you fucking dumbass piece of shit. I ain't got time to teach your offspring of your fat loving the time of day..... Understand?

--Drunken Master

  • Mr. Jurassic,

    I was reading your review of Flash Gordon and noticed the word gaydar and was confused. What is gaydar?

    --name & e-mail withheld by request.

Dear Name Withheld by request,

Since I don't know your exact age, I am unsure how to answer your question regarding my gaydar. If you are willing to answer the following questions (care of Movie Pit e-mail), I can give you a more thorough response:

1) Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
2) Do you like movies about gladiators?
3) Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Please submit these answers personally addressed to Jurassic Mark (along with a photo) and I will be sure and get back with you.

Jurassic Mark


  • To the person who so irresponsibly calls himself Drunken Master,

    I read your review of Demolition Man and it was a disgrace. You need to get involved in a 12 step program and clean up your potty mouth. Also please change your name to something more positive. If you are serious about change I have some Christian tapes you can borrow.

--name withheld by request.

Dearest Artfag, to whom shall I direct my taunting.. NAME WITHHELD BY REQUEST......You sir are an imBecile, that's right an ImBecile. You want 12 steps mother fucker, I got them 12 steps, it's called a twelve pack and I got plenty more from whence they came you piss ant sorry ass cock sucker. You think I have a fucking potty mouth for normal reviews, well wait till I get ahold of your sorry ass limp dick ankle grabbing young loving personal opinion of one other than yourself. "And Jesus Said....." Don't fuck with me self righteous boy....I'll go off on a tangent on your ass and you won't know what hit you. You want a review by a drunken idiot....WELL PISSANT, THIS IS THE SHIT.

--Drunken Master

  • To that dumbass Randolph Carter,

    Like you know Duets is like my totally favorite movie of all time and I think you giving it the finger just like sucks. I think you should watch it again like for real. I think you'll like change your mind or something. What kind of name is Randolph Carter anyway? It's like so stupid. All the other guys have kewl names, but yours makes no sense. Whatever!

    -- name withheld by request.

Whoever you are (a goofy girl I would presume), please die. I stand by my review of Duets as an F plus the ol' finger. This was one painfully bad piece of shit film. If I can make it through the rest of the year without having to watch another film as bad as this, I'll die a happy man. Don't you worry your pretty little empty head about where the name Randolph Carter comes from. Cool or not, rest assured I'll continue to take my job seriously, sniff out the crap flicks as early as possible and hopefully stop others from wasting their valuable time watching them.

Yours truly,


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