Master and Commander

 


 

Drunken Master
SCORE:  3
Beers

This is about as good as a sea battle movie as you can get.  Plus the French fucks get their dicks kicked in like a goalie who stands there while the opposing teams star player sprints toward him at full speed right before he releases a nut crushing kick that ruins the mans future at producing child bearing sperm.  Are the French really that stupidÖ..well yes to be blunt; they donít use soap when washing there hands and their movies suck dicks even more uncleanly than mine.  The battle scenes at times are a little chaotic but being them in the interior of an early 19th century battleship thereís not much space to move around in.  The fight scenes are bloody and the acting is outstanding.  Again I must plead to Lucas to let the casting agent of this movie let them do his casting in the future as the kids in this movie are outstanding.   Paul Bettany is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors and that is not based on the fact that he gets to through his load into Jennifer Connelly as he sees fits but because the guy can act.  Now Iím not saying Russell Crowe canít because he rocks in this movie however Bettany takes his lightly written role and gives it depth.  As far as the whole cast goes it is pretty strong, story wise it isnít week either and the cinematography is outstanding.  I would go out and lash out at the whole Galapagos thing and Darwin but Iíll leave that to the sober to think about.  Crowe can command my ass anyday master.