Bowling for Columbine


Are we a nation of gun nuts or are we just nuts?


  Jurassic Mark

SCORE: 4 Stars

Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine has nothing to do with the freedom of Iraq.  Nor does my review of the film.  Personally, I hope the U.S. wins a quick war against our Muslim antagonists.  First, we must vanquish Saddam.  Then, we must democratize the foreign infidels.  Lastly, we will convert the heathens to Christianity.  The last part will be the easiest because Allah cannot provide as much food as God (the original "manna maker").  
Michael Moore is against the war on Iraq.  He is not a "bleeding-heart liberal."  According to Michael Moore, George W. Bush belongs to the same political party as Bill Clinton.  To paraphrase Moore, we don't need a "third party," we need a "second party."  Anybody who tosses Michael Moore in with liberals, left-wingers or Democrats has not paid attention to Michael Moore.  Democrats have merged with Republicans.  We suffer the consequences.
All of this has nothing to do with Bowling for Columbine the movie, nor has it anything to do with Bowling for Columbine's Oscar award.  Moore was recently awarded an Oscar for Best Documentary by a group that "boo'd" and "cheered" Moore's acceptance speech.  Anti-Moore groups insist the boo's were louder than the cheers.  Perhaps louder is better.  Staunch Moore supporters claim the cheers were bolstered by less boisterous, but, nonetheless, genial voters who beamed radiant smiles while Moore spoke.  They were many.  Harrison Ford was the most obvious.  This doesn't constitute "name-dropping" because it was harder to count smiles than it was to hear "boos."  If you wanted to hear cheers, you would have heard a long standing ovation for the same speech the previous night when Moore won for Best Documentary at the Independent (Spirit) Awards.
Forgive me for getting carried away with pro-Moore vs. anti-Moore sentiment.  After all, he did win the Oscar.  Everyone who voted for Moore knew that as a political activist, he would not, could not, pass up the opportunity to voice to 3/4 of a billion people his view on the war.
I expected Moore to do something even more outrageous.  I expected a sit-down.  Imagine the embarrassment of dragging portly Michael off the stage, chained to the podium.  Instead, Moore used the 45 seconds allotted him and the worst he said was "shame on you" to the President.  Ooooooh!  Cover the children's eyes and ears!  Remember Adrian Brody's speech that went way beyond the time limit and spoke of God and Allah and how he was more sensitive to war because he made a movie about the Holocaust.  Talk about pretentious.  Remember the standing ovation for Brody.  Clearly, a standing ovation is a random event.
On to the movie.  Bowling for Columbine has nothing to do with the war against Iraq.  Bowling for Columbine is about gun control in America.  Moore is concerned about 11,000+ Americans (any Americans) dying from gun related injuries each year.
Moore deals with a lot of facts:  He notes the annual average of 65 gun deaths in Australia, 165 in Canada, 255 in France, 381 in Germany, 68 in Great Britain, 39 in Japan and 11,127 in the U. S.  But, wait, all those countries have a lot less guns than America, right?  Yes, with the exception of Canada.  Canada has 7 million guns for 10 million households.  Yet, we are over ten times more likely to get shot in the U.S.
Moore travels to Canada and establishes a theory that tries to explain the enormous disparity behind the statistics.  His theory is interesting if not quite scientific.  However, Moore does an excellent job dispelling the myths about the dangers of violent movies, video games, lack of prayer in school, and all the ridiculous excuses given in this country for our violent behavior.  The citizens of all these countries watch violent movies and play violent video games (Japan???).  None of them allow prayer in public school.
I'm not going to summarize Moore's theory.  It's difficult to prove.  However, it is intellectual miles ahead of NRA President Charlton Heston's theory.  Heston points out that these other countries do not have our ethnic diversity.  Way to go Chuck.  The colored people are no doubt planning to rape your children with their giant genitalia and round out the evening with a late run through the KFC drive-thru. 
Bowling for Columbine is funny and creative (check out the animated sequence from the South Park guys).  It is also disturbing.  I'm glad Moore is out three doing his thing.  The filmmaker is largely responsible for (shaming?) the decision makers at K-Mart into pulling their entire inventory of ammunition from all of their stores.  I doubt many members of the Academy have gone through as much trouble to fight for the things they believe in as has Moore.  But, the Academy was smart enough to realize it by awarding him the Oscar.  I just wish they could have been "extra" gracious and given the guy his 45 seconds. 
And, remember to shake your "manna maker."