Forrest Gump


The world will never be the same once you've seen it through the eyes of Forrest Gump.


Darth Buzz


Forrest Gump is the Best Picture Academy Award winner for 1994, and this is one of those few times that I agree with the Academy. Gump is an outstanding film that, I think, will stand up to the test of time. Gump has the right mix of humor and drama and every time you think it's going to go overboard on the humor it comes back with excellent drama that balances the whole thing out.

One of the keys to the film that keeps it honest is Tom Hanks. Hanks manages to play Forrest straight throughout the film even when the humor is really over the top. This helps keep the film grounded when it could have taken a much different path and the film would have lost some of it's innocent charm while the dramatic parts wouldn't have paid off as well. What I'm really saying is, Tom Hanks makes it all work and for that he deserves his Best Actor Oscar. Another great contribution to the film is Gary Sinise's performance as Lt. Dan. There have been a few films where I could have lived without Sinise's performances but here he is golden.

The bottom line is that Forrest Gump is a great movie that tells the story of a generation better than some of the more serious films that cover the same time period. If you haven't seen Gump and have just heard a bunch of quotes like "Life is like a box of chocolates..." and think this is just another mindless Hollywood film, then I would recommend that you see Forrest Gump. It's a Hollywood film, but it's quite a bit deeper than the quotes would lead you to believe. It's good drama too.

Drunken Master
SCORE: 16Beers
I will never see this movie again.

I must admit that the first time I saw this movie I was fairly entertained.....however I rank this movie right up there with The Legend of the Lone Ranger in repeat in it has none. I sat through about the first half of this movie at a friends house while intaking various alcholic beverages which is Drunken Masters norm........and I felt punished....actually punished for watching this. IF I wanted to hear about every kind 
of shrimp food there was I'm not gonna let some retard tell me that while I'm using a toothbrush to shine my Drill Sergeants asspipe. Now I know that Sean Penn has a penchant for abusing women....and if I was stupid enough to be cast as a retards love interest in a movie like this then when I walk in the door I would fucking god damn demand to have my ass whooped good....EVERY SINGLE DAY! Oh god this movie bites in the worst possible way.  I know this is supposed to be a feel good movie for the everyman who gets passed over on a daily basis but what in fucking all thats fucking fucked fuck fuck fuck fuck. I'm in the fuck saying mood if you can't fucking tell. This movie is the equivalent of having a puck ass dwarf stop off at your house every morning and stomp on your balls for a half hour for your morning workout. Any scene where this retard does something humanly impossible or extraordinary make my stomach turn like a tequila hangover vomit....the kind that your head is deep inside the bowels of where you normally  are giving your "Brown" to the great white gods (I use brown lovingly because they steal my soul on a daily basis) Your hands in a death grip on
the sides while your stomach rides the Texas Giant while it continually heaves its contents into a splashy grave that smells oh so sweet....That acidy sweet smell that vaguely reminds you of something you may have eaten earlier....but it's visible comparisons are nothing close to resemblance.  Oh and I forgot to mention the altered black and white scenes that are supposed to endear us to the lovable retard........Fuck "Run forest Run!"
Run into a wall shortly before a Crown Victoria impales you upon the wall and implodes thanks to its superior American design.