Half Baked


Warning: this movie may cause the munchies, cotton mouth, and memory loss!


Drunken Master

SCORE: 5 Beers

     Too truly understand why Drunken Master enjoys this movie, one first has to understand who Drunken Master is.  

     The night of my conception is where we begin.........Many moons ago there was a party, where the ill-conceived idea to mix Grape Mad Dog 20\20 with Gatorade produced an unthought of after product.  A homosexual male sipped this vile drink and immediately expelled a gaseous element (Homo spooge) out his ass through his clothes and then it preceded through the clothes of a lesbian dominatrix and into her nether regions (VIGINA for Ghost Dog) thus impregnating her.  Unknowing the source of this inpregnacy she carried it to term, she felt in her enlightenment that she carried the NEW JESUS (take that Christians) since she had never "Knowingly" mated with a male, she had no idea she would be pregnant with Drunken Master. (You know, I'm sure they had some form of the date rape drug back then too.......hmmmmmmm) Thus I was born to a Lesbian Dominatrix who lessoned me in the pleasures of pain.  This is why Drunken master enjoys shitty movies with glee.  With almost happiness even, a drool like state that I would hope that everyone would hope to attain.

     Half Baked is a truly righteous flick, we're given four stoners who 3 of are fairly well known stand up comics who are funny as shit.  The dialog in this movie, although stoner driven is still very funny.  The plot if you call it one, is thin of course but the pace of this movie never really dies down.  All the bongs have names "Wesley Pipes" and some such, but there really isn't a dull moment without some comedy thrown in.  They do a few spoofs along the way all "WEEDIZED" for humor, and mostly they all rock.  Check out the babe with the Blue PVC pants early on in the record store.  "She's the lesbian dominatrix I spoke of above".