The sweetest candies are sour as death inside.


Drunken Master

SCORE: 7 Beers

This movie was a beating to the rest of Movie Pit, mainly because the aren't the targeted audience this was aimed at. Jurassic Mark....Well, he's beyond the age group this was aimed at, Randolph Carter simply can't handle variety like a Pavlovian dog can't handle change. Buzz is well,,,,,,,,he's Buzz. He could handle this movie, but it's just to much of a beating on the senses for him to enjoy. THUS it is up to the low brain celled using Drunken Master to give an open eyed review of this movie. The entry of this flick shows the creation of the title. A sugary huge ball of candy.......Defense #1....Rose McGowan, she can't act anything outside of her shell, but would I give up my left arm to spend a night in bed.....yes. Defense #2....Rebecca Gayheart, she can't act anything outside of her shell, but would I give up my right arm to spend a night in bed......yes. Somewhere along the way I'd loose both my legs and become a quadriplegic, and we know the chances they have of getting laid. Plot, king high she bitch dies in meaningless birthday prank, rest of movie deals with how queen bitch #2 tries to hide the fact and how queen bitch #4 tries to usurp her. Sounds like shit, well then ride your candy ass back to ER repeats dumbfucks.

Darth Buzz


I shall be the voice of reason here.  Drunken Master talked Randolph Carter and I into watching this and we got raped.  I gave the film a 2 and my scale is 1-10, so it earned one point for the hot women.  That's it.  This flick had no other redeeming qualities whatsoever.

...and I thought I was safe with my beer goggles on too.  There's no place to hide with this one.

Fucking Harsh!