Johnny Mnemonic

The Ultimate Hard Drive

Drunken Master

SCORE: 8 Beers

Look maggots and empire, I'am shitfaced. Thus a pre Drunken master review. And I am the light and the cure. At the moment I have gernil running up and down the hall in round sphere/ Vodka runs thicker than reality. Johny Mnemonic is the movie, and it is good. Anyone order a pizza? I sit back comparing this to my Demolition man review and I think.......Shite, am I concious....what does that spell. Ok, we have StarShiptroopers babe actining like she can act, we also have Ice Tea acting like he can rap.......or some such.....Alcohol is your friend. Ke-tah, Ke-tah..........................................................This is surreal. Can have a golf clap for my pure powerful review of this shit heap. Alcohol does the body good.

Darth Buzz

SCORE: 6

I've read a couple of William Gibson books (Neuromancer & Idoru) and if I thought about what I would see if I went to a movie, based on a Gibson book, it wouldn't even come close to resembling Johnny Mnemonic. This film more than anything for me was about expectations. I knew what to expect from that kind of Sci-Fi but then before I even saw the film I knew that Keanu Reeves, Ice-T, and Dolph Lundgren were in this film and quit honestly I expected shit. Not surprisingly shit is exactly what I got, but the saving grace of all this shit was that it was really funny shit.

Just think about the idea of having your main character being played by Keanu Reeves who quite frankly comes across like he just had a real hard time remembering all his lines and he is playing a character who gave up a part of his brain for computer information storage and it all kinda fits. Then there is Dolph Lundgren who makes you laugh every time he appears on the screen because he plays this role just like he has played every role in his life, way way over the top.

The crown jewel of this whole cacophony of a film comes when we see the dolphin. I won't say anymore. See this thing if you've got nothing better to do and your really board and need some cheering up, cause this "should" make you laugh.

AWARDS