Reign of Fire


Fight Fire With Fire


Drunken Master

SCORE: 4 Beers

I've had shits that have made Kubla Khan look like Florence Nightingale. Stink so bad it made the Japanese Subway Gassings look like a fresh bouquet of flowers. I've personally cleared out so many bathrooms , that I don't think any means of chemical warfare has it's equal. However this movie met it's fair share of middle ground reviews when it came out. I however think these "reviews" were about as worthwhile as a steaming piece of shit warming in the oven while waiting for a good lukewarm bowl of piss in your hands. Reign of Fire for me was one of my favorite movies yet to date this year, granted that I haven't viewed yet the next movie of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. But as far as action, story, and entertainment......ROF is the shit. Oh and George Lucas....Please take notice. YOU CAN'T FUCKING CAST ACTORS/ACTRESSES WORTH SHIT. Please.....I beg of you.....let me cast you next movie. ROBIN GURLAND needs to be dragged by her hands from a Zamboni across the Sahara desert. This is a cross reference to Attack of the Clones. GEORGE YOU SUCK ASS WITH HUMANS!

Drink up, the glass is half empty!

Randolph Carter


Plot: 80 or so years in the future man accidentally discovers and unleashes a rather hostile race of dragon that wreaks havoc on the world.

Commentary: This is by no means a great film, but as Liquor Lad mentions, it has just the right combination of action and drama, has capable actors, and is carried along with an above average plot, especially for this genre
of film. I can’t really compare this film to “Road Warrior,” although both share a bleak futuristic earth as their setting, but I got the same satisfaction out of it as I did watching “Road Warrior.”

More appropriate title: The Quest for the Dragon’s Balls

Cringe-o-meter (4 out of 10): There is a fight scene between Q-ball McConaughey and the leader of the Scottish compound, where Q-ball tears his shirt off to further display his robust masculinity, that had me squirming a bit. You’d think something in the special effects department of the film would have had me squirming too, but I could find no fault there at all.

Recommended for: Anyone who enjoys a well thought out, post-apocalyptic action/adventure film. Much on par with “Road Warrior.” Miles ahead of the shlocky “Water World.”

Darth Buzz

Response to Drunken Master

My confused drunken buddy, the casting for AOTC is just fine.  Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Christopher Lee (kick ass choice), Samuel L. Jackson, and even Hayden Christensen is fine.  I think what you should be questioning about AOTC, Phantom Menace, or Star Wars: A New Hope is George's ability to Direct.  I think he kind of sucks as a Director or as a writer for that matter.  As I've said before, if you bought the ticket for an acting performance you should be pummeled in the head, stuck in a sack, and crushed by an elephant.  The Star Wars series is an FX machine and in that capacity they rock.