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Cult of the Insane Corporate Daddy

Crouching Yoda, Hidden Jar Jar

The Wailing & Gnashing of Jurassic Mark

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Mulholland Drive

Kill Bill

Disturbing Behavior

Master and Commander

28 Days Later

Charlie's Angels Full Throttle


Bubba Ho-Tep

2 Fast 2 Furious


Welcome to Movie Pit, where we review anything that moves... we mean anything.
To better understand our whacked out review system see the Help? page.

  Site Last Updated: 12/13/03 



  •  As promised I have added 2 more reviews of JM, plus Buzz has retired from his lengthy career here at the Pit.  I have a few of my own reviews to post as well and will try to get those up sometime this weekend as well.


  • I must have been really hammered last night, but I updated my column for the first time in months.  I'm really going to try to post some stuff that JM has sent which is gold, plus I have some other random crap to post as well this weekend.


  • Master and Commander was quite impressive, so check that out here and I've posted many more new reviews and a couple of updates.  JM and the crew have a big debate over a top 40 directors list that can been viewed here.  I have a follow up from us rebutting this hack of work but I have to decide how I want to post it, so check back for further details.  We are also highly anticipating a DVD from an Independent filmmaker titled Expiration.


  • Matrix Revolutions sucks ass, that's right the next time I feel like viewing the "Passion of Christ" I'll actually pay to see the Mel Gibson head turner.   Talk about a damn big time let down, after the greatness of Reloaded we get the god damn ass pummeling not seen since "The Governess" or that other ass flick Sodimize and Godzilla, that's not the real name of the movie but hell if I can think of it when I'm drunk as hell. Eat THIS!


  • DrunkenMaster is a slacker, however since I'm on vacation this week maybe I'll pull my head out of my ass.  However here's Jurassic view of Lost in Translation.


  • DrunkenMaster has gone apeshit with posting, not only did he update his column, but the review section has a hoard of new and updated reviews.


  • DrunkenMaster is back in control of posting after Buzz's short return to command, new reviews should be uploaded this weekend.


  • Ode to Charles Bronson by DM

    This is an actor that had a career of which I can not describe.....Could he be called an action movie star. I think not......comedy and drama were definitely not his calling. Emotion.......As those of the pitt have witnessed, I show more emotion while brewing my purple rain boxed wine. Yet from around the early fifties through the late nineties this man was in countless movies. Some of his more memorable roles would be The Great Escape, The Dirty Dozen, the Death Wish series, and the Magnificent Seven. Surely he was in many more movies worth mentioning however I'm only mentioning the ones I've seen. I'm not a fan of his acting range but for Drunken Master he's on my top ten shitty actors whom I love list. He's right up there with Rutger Hauer and Kurt Russell. A shame he passed away so early may he be remembered fondly for his roles that brought audiences to the theatre. At 81, he died too young.


  • Our site got hacked by Drunken Master in his natural state.  (I fixed it.)
    p.s. - he updated his cult thingy... check it out.
  • Our 200th review is Matrix Reloaded, do I hear an Amen!


  • I got some new reviews up today kids.  Check them out in the A-Z Reviews.  More reviews to come soon.


  • For the Movie Pit and fans of Katharine Hepburn:

    Katharine Hepburn died today (6/29/03) at the age of 96.

    Hepburn provided me with many hours of entertainment. I have enjoyed her roles in at least five decades. But, I can hardly pick my favorite role. Neither could Hollywood. She was nominated for 12 Oscars and received a record four Best Actress awards. 

    If you have not seen these, than I highly recommend the following:

    The Philadelphia Story (1940). Hepburn must have had an ear for great dialogue (I will allude to that later). She was already well known when TPS was released. She had done Stage Door, Bringing Up Baby and Holiday. But, who knew that TPS would be one of the most sophisticated films of all time. Due credit should go to co-stars Cary Grant and James Stewart.

    The African Queen (1951). I've seen TAQ four times. I'll wager movie-fan/director Steven Spielberg has seen it more than a dozen. TAQ is that influential; it's that good. Directed by the legendary John Huston and co-starring Humphrey Bogart in his best role, TAQ is Hollywood adventure at its finest. 

    Summertime (1955). Hepburn usually worked with great talent. Summertime was directed by David Lean (Great Expectations, Lawrence of Arabia, The Bridge on the River Kwai). Summertime was shot on location in "Technicolor" Venice. There is an unspoiled quality to the picture that could never exist today. 
    Hepburn plays a shy woman seeking romance (you get the idea). Summertime is a great looking movie with characters who want to behave differently because they are exposed to an exotic locale. Summertime has its flaws, but we'll never see Venice like this again. And, we'll never see Hepburn either. 

    The Lion in Winter (1968). Peter O'Toole, Katharine Hepburn, Anthony Hopkins (back in 1968), Timothy Dalton ("James Bond" way back in 1968), Nigel Terry and John Castle round out an amazing cast with a screenplay that any writer would give his soul to have written. Darkly humorous and completely devoid of historical merit.

    On Golden Pond (1981). This was largely Henry Fonda's swan song. But, who else besides Hepburn could have portrayed the larger-than-life's soul-mate. If you can watch Hepburn's "knight in shining armor" speech without a lump in your throat than we need to check your pulse.

    I've left out a lot about Hepburn. She also made many popular movies with Spencer Tracy. Historically they had a long affair, but that's none of my business. Like I said, Hepburn entertained me for many hours. Tomorrow, I think I may drive a mile down the road and rent The Lion in Winter. That's one I haven't seen in a long time. 

    -Jurassic Mark


  • It is I, Darth Buzz, back at the helm.  I want to thank Drunken Master for his fill in work, you rock dude.  As you can see the Critics.Net title is gone and we are back to Movie Pit.  I will be doing some site maintenance and then posting new reviews soon after that.  Hold on to your butts.


  • More reviews added for your reading pleasure....check them out here!



  • Behold the new regime of the Movie Pit.  DrunkMaster has taken over the design hold of this site, and has high hopes of creating new mayhem for all those involved.  Check back for updates as hopefully they come more than once every fifteen months..